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walk to the cabin, and another five to come back. Reed had long
legs and he was a fast runner. It wouldn t take him long to&
Leo walked to the front door and glanced out the window. He
could see a light shining over the door at the last cabin. There was
no sign of Reed. Fuck the shit out of him. And suddenly an image
of that came to Leo s mind& Adrian down on all fours and Reed
fucking the shit out of him.
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Leo broke out into a sweat. He reached for the near empty wine
bottle and raised it to his lips, downing the last few swallows of
wine.
Suddenly, he heard the door open and close. Leo turned around
and saw Reed. He almost ran to him and hugged him. And that
didn t make sense. But he was so damn happy to see him. Hi, he
said.
Reed looked at him. Hi, yourself.
What happened to fucking the shit out of him?
He shrugged. My cock s not for hire.
Oh. He laughed a little. Is that what you think Mark was
trying to do, turn you into a rent boy?
He didn t answer.
How much?
Huh?
How much for your cock? He met his gaze.
I told you, my cock isn t for hire.
Pretend.
I don t like to pretend, he replied.
They were standing closer now. Reed s expression was
perplexed.
Do you think cocks are worth more by the inch?
Are you drunk?
No, Leo shook his head, not really. Maybe a little.
Reed laughed faintly. Which is it& no, not really, or maybe a
little?
Leo shrugged. One of the above. You choose.
I d put my money on maybe a little.
He laughed. You re funny.
Um, a laugh riot.
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So, why didn t Adrian want to be fucked by you?
Maybe I m not his type.
You re everyone s type.
He lifted an eyebrow. Apparently not.
Tell me the real reason? Leo came closer and peered into his
face. No lies. He wanted to and you turned him down, right?
Would it please you to think that?
Yes.
Okay. He wanted me and I turned him down.
Why?
For a reason that doesn t exist.
Translation?
There isn t any translation. Come on, I ll put you to bed. He
held out his hand.
You ll tuck me in and sing me to sleep?
Reed reached out and grabbed his hand. He tucked it under his
arm and walked him up the stairs.
You re so gallant.
Um, that s me, your knight in shining armor.
Leo laughed. You have no armor.
Reed stopped at the top of the stairs. You re right, he said
softly. I don t. I thought I did. I thought I d built it back up, but it
seems to be breaking down.
Leo reached up and traced the furrows in the brow. What was
that?
I don t know, he said softly. Nothing. The wind. Come on,
Leo. He pulled him into the room and Leo clung to him.
The room is spinning.
I m thinking that maybe you should change that little bit
drunk to very drunk, Reed said, as he dragged Leo s arms from
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around his neck and laid him down on the bed.
Leo immediately reached up and wrapped his arms around
Reed s neck again. He pulled him closer. I want to hear your
heartbeat.
Leo, he protested, stop it.
Leo pressed his face against his and then moved his head down
to his chest. Let me hear it, he urged.
Reed sat on the edge of the bed as Leo pressed his head flat
against Reed s chest. He wrapped his arms around his waist and
hugged him tight for a minute.
Leo, Reed began to squirm a little, what in the hell are you
doing?
You have a good strong heartbeat. He looked up into his
eyes. Why do I feel like it s the end of the world?
I have no idea. I m missing the connection between that and
my heart. He lowered him to the pillow.
Don t go, Leo said, grabbing his hand. Just stay here with
me for a second, in the dark, in the silence.
Are you sure it was only wine you were drinking?
There is so much pain, Reed. Love is pain. It doesn t have to
be that way all the time, does it?
I don t know.
How many times have you been in love?
Oh, Leo, come on&
No, tell me.
Once, he said.
But then you fell out of love. You could fall in love again if
you loved him once.
No, I can t do that.
Why not? He still loves you.
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He can t love me, Leo. He s dead.
Leo s hand tightened on his as Reed made a move to go.
Dead?
He wrestled his hand loose and stood. He looked down at him
in the dark. The only man I ever loved died four years ago. So
you see, he can t still love me, and I can t love him.
What about Mark?
I never loved Mark.
But Mark and you were together. I thought& I believed&
Go to sleep, Leo. Forget about it. It s not important.
He wanted to get out of bed. He wanted to go to Reed, talk to
him some more, comfort him, hold him. He dreamed about holding
him as he fell to sleep. Reed.
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