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shone white-gold in the darkness. Her eyes were open, and the green hue of them
caught the light.  Alexander, she said softly.
I kneeled down next to her and took her cool hand. The relief I felt at that moment
was indescribable. The fizzing adrenaline pumping through my system seemed to
transform into pure, amped-up devotion. Fuck, how I loved her. Every cell in my body
was tuned into this perfect vision I thought I might have lost forever: Lila. Her golden
hair, falling in mussed-up, Aphrodite-like waves. Her soft mouth, saying my name, the
sound shooting an arrow of thrilling delight into my soul like I was some twee,
lovestruck romantic. Which I didn t even mind being, not for her. Anything for her. My
senses drank in every detail of her face as she watched my reaction to her. Her pink
mouth. The young, flawless curve of her cheekbone. The light dusting of freckles across
the bridge of her nose. Her eyebrows, like feathery, expressive blond stripes. And her
eyes, teary and bright.
 You re here, she whispered. She sounded so tired.
 I m here.
She reached out to touch my hair, smoothing a strand of it out of my eyes.  You re
hot, she smiled weakly.
 I ran to you. As soon as Jake called.
As I said his name, I looked up to see him standing there, next to the couch. My
rage had cooled, now that I d seen her, like she fed some sort of calming potion into me,
just with her presence.  I found her at Joe s. Just sitting there, alone, soaked from the
rain.
I knew my brother very well. And I could detect a note of accusation in his
statement: it was my fault she d been found that way. He d taken an interest in Lila s
well-being and protection, clearly, and I didn t know how far that interest extended as
yet, or what it meant. Either way, he was right. It was my fault she d run. It was my
fault she got caught in the rain, alone and scared.
 You just & ran into her? I couldn t help asking the question. I would tread
carefully but the uncertainty was burning me.
 Pure coincidence, Jake clarified, and I stopped myself from breathing an audible
sigh of unadulterated relief. There d been no prearranged meeting, no clandestine
rendezvous that might have signalled a heart-breaking development. I could only hope.
I channeled every ounce of self-control. Remain calm, I commanded myself. Everything
will be fine if you keep your cool. For her. For Lila.
 Jake was so kind, Lila said, and the pronouncement did nothing to soothe my
precarious composure. And you weren t. She didn t say it; I don t even know if she was
thinking it. But I was. And there was something I desperately wanted to say. It
occurred to me then that I had never said those two words to anyone, possibly ever.
Until now.
 Lila, I began.  I m sorry.
Lila s tears welled up and spilled, painting shiny lines down her face. She tried to
sit up and I helped her. She seemed weak and unsteady. And I could see then that she
wore a plush blue bathrobe.
Jake s robe.
A shot of ice jolted through my veins but I didn t immediately react. He would
have given it to her, to change into. Her clothes had been wet from the rain. And I could
see it there, the bunched-up, still-soaked scrap of the dress she d been wearing, lying
across the arm of a nearby chair.
My focus shifted to Lila as she began to speak quietly. She sounded sad, and that
defeat in her voice cut me up. I wanted to stomp on her defeat. I wanted to rip out her
sadness, and make it all up to her a thousandfold. I would fix everything that had ever
hurt her. I d right my wrongs and everyone else s. I would to give her everything I had,
to charm her and win her and enchant her so I could see her smile again. Her smile was
the only goddamn thing I cared about.
 It was him, she began slowly. She didn t seem to mind that Jake was listening,
too. Some kind of trust had built up between them that I no longer minded. There were
things they had in common  devastating things. Maybe she could take comfort in
knowing the few details she knew about Jake s past. A shared burden is sometimes
easier to carry.  It was the man I told you about. My mother s boyfriend. She paused,
and I held her hand gently, wiping her tears with my fingers. And I waited. She would
speak when she was ready.
After a few minutes, she continued.  He used to lock me up. So he could & so
whatever he wanted. To use as he wanted, when he wanted. So I couldn t escape. Every
night, after my mother passed out on the couch, he would come to me. That sound, of
the key & the lock & it reminds me of all those nightmares. Her tears were streaming [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]