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sound perfectly innocent to anyone but Joan, that is. Linda
turned the ignition key a notch so the radio came back on.  But
Benediction 189
you didn t go through all this trouble to hear my soap opera. You
did a brave thing, by the way, you and your just-friend, Anne. Do
you know anyone else who s gay besides me, I mean.
Gay the word only dimly had meaning to Grace. Lesbian,
with its faintly antiseptic tone, was the only description she had
ever heard. This new word, the way Linda used it, had an edge of
arrogance, and Grace liked it.  No, no one else.
 Well, we ll just have to bring you out, then. There s a bar,
not far from here, just before the city line. You ll find a lot of
over-educated Catholic girls there. That is, the ones who didn t
go into the convent. Guilt is the great unifier.
Grace laughed, though she was slightly stunned by Linda s
irreverence, not just toward Immaculate Blessing and the church,
but toward her own heartbreak.
 Is that where you met Adele?
 Yes, as a matter of fact. It was her first time there. And
tonight, if you want, can be yours.
 Are you serious?
 Absolutely. We ll pick you up at nine. And for now, I ll drive
you home, but do me a favor? Come up front. I don t want to feel
like a chauffeur.
Grace gave Linda directions to her house, using Sacred
Soldiers as a landmark. Inside her head, a jumble of questions
fought for prominence. Finally, she settled on one.  Did you
meet Joan at this place, too?
 Ha! Joan in a gay bar? She d have been tarred and feathered
first. Joan is what we call a closet case, Grace. I met her at school.
It was the usual thing. We were drawn to each other like magnets.
I knew we were falling in love. She didn t. But I never pushed.
She kissed me first.
Grace watched Linda s profile as she spoke. Talking about
Joan seemed to rob her of some of her usual energy and
animation. There was a definite boyish air about her, but it
was fresh-scrubbed, earnest, even sensual. And her hair, softly
curled and blonde, and long-lashed green eyes, confounded the
impression. When she smiled, she was downright pretty. It was
the topspin of androgyny, though, that made her seem powerful,
190 Diane Salvatore
mysterious, unpredictable.
 Anyway, when she started talking about the convent, I
thought I would lose my mind. You know, Linda said, glancing
over,  I was serious that night you heard us. I swear to God I
thought about turning her in so they wouldn t let her enter. But
then, I knew that would only make her more desperate. I still
hope sometimes that she won t make it, that eventually she ll
leave the convent and we ll be back together.
The tree-lined streets passed by slowly, bathed in May
sunlight.
 I pray all the time that Meg won t get married. I mean, I
know she ll come back to me.
 Let me give you a tip, Grace, Linda said.  Women like Joan
and your girlfriend, they ll do anything to pass as straight. They d
rather be miserable, as long as they pass. You have to remember
you can t reason with that. You can t talk someone into courage.
A new terror struck at Grace s heart.  But how do you know
that isn t what they really are straight, I mean? Grace was
working hard to keep up with the new terminology.
 How do you know? There s a simple test, Grace. Just
remember the way she loved you.
Grace bit her bottom lip hard. Remembering was the easy
part. It was forgetting that was impossible.
Chapter 14
Mrs. Molino, arms folded, waited on the porch while Grace
went out to the white car. Adele, her long blonde hair like a shawl
down her back, smiled when Grace leaned down to the passenger
window. Linda made hurried introductions.  Ready? she asked.
 Um, well, there s one little thing, Grace said.  My mother
said she wants you to introduce yourself. Grace wished the
sidewalk would open beneath her feet and swallow her up.  You
know, with the car and everything, she trailed off miserably.
Linda shot Adele a tense look and then laughed.  What
should I say? Don t worry, Mrs. Molino, I ll take good care of
your daughter at the gay bar? None of those mean, ugly dykes
for your little girl?
 Linda, Adele said, lightly touching her arm.  Give her a
break. This is tough stuff.
 I m sorry, Linda said.  Just my inappropriate sense of
humor kicking in. She got out of the car, wearing jeans and a
leather vest over a denim shirt.  Adele says I have what she calls
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